What's Wrong With Steve?

VINTAGE WWWS

Dear Steve,

My friend and I both have blind dates coming up.  We realize you’re married now but wondered if you could harken back to your single days to offer us some advice:  How did you overcome first date jitters?  Oh, and how far did you expect to get on a first date?

Just wondering,

Sabrina and Kelly

Sabrina and Kelly

I am not sure which way to go with this question.  I am a little concerned because I don’t know how old you ladies are, and therefore I am hesitant to answer in my usual free-wheeling, damn the torpedoes manner.

But…. what the hell – here goes!

I never experienced the so called “first date jitters”, simply because I always refused to acknowledge that the social situation in question was in fact, a date.  I preferred to say simply, “We’re just hanging out.”  That alone removed a tremendous amount of pressure.  I was then free to be me – to try to be as funny as possible, rendering the woman incapable of resisting my charms.

On a good night, this usually led to sex.  On a bad night, when I couldn’t quite get on a roll, I didn’t stress out over it because, as I already said, “We were just hanging out.” Of course, those nights usually led to sex also, but without as much hootin’and hollerin’.  C’est la vie.

I guess that answers both of your questions, come to think of it.  Good luck!!

SG

Dear Steve

Will you marry me?  I have a tongue ring.

K.S.

K.S.

Not only will I marry you, my darling, but I will spend each and every moment for the rest of my up until now meaningless life trying to give you the happiest, most carefree, uplifting, challenging, spiritually enlightening, exciting, and of course, infection free existence that you and that tongue ring of yours could ever possibly imagine!

And that is just for starters.  Once we get rolling, why we’ll…wait, hold on a second…my wife says no.

SG

Steve,

I loved your version of “I Wanna Be Your Man”.  What are your impressions of Ringo’s drumming?  Or just the Beatles overall?

Steve

Steve

My impressions of Ringo’s drumming can be heard regularly at sound check.  He is the sole reason I wanted to play drums in the first place and the Beatles are without question my favorite band of all time and the primary reason that I love rock and roll.

So, you know, no big deal.

SG

Dear Steve,

Where ya been??!?

Thank you, in advance, for your timely response.

Best,

Jill

Jill

Much like Johnny Cash, I’ve been everywhere, man, I’ve been everywhere.

I can’t guarantee that I won’t forget a town or two, and I might get a few out of order – but to the best of my recollection – since 1990 I’ve been to Los Angeles, Anaheim, Ventura, Tijuana, Las Vegas, Phoenix, Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, Houston, Murfreesboro, Atlanta, Charlotte, Raleigh, Hickory, Norfolk, Saratoga Springs, Baltimore, Washington DC, NYC, Syracuse, Providence, Brooklyn, Boston, Portland, Toronto, Cleveland, Roseville, Chicago, Minneapolis, Denver, Salt Lake City, Oakland, West Hollywood, Columbus, Cleveland, Toronto, Cambridge, Pittsburgh, Allentown, Poughkeepsie, New Haven, Portland, Boston, NYC, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Raleigh, Boone, Savannah, Orlando, Ft. Lauderdale, Tampa, Montgomery, Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, Dallas, Phoenix, San Diego, Ventura, Laandgraaf, Amsterdam, London, Walsall, Birmingham, Newcastle, Glasgow, Nottingham, Manchester, London, Bethlehem, Middletown, Moosic, NYC, Old Orchard Beach, Bristol, Mansfield, Boston, Saratoga Springs, Syracuse, Toronto, Rochester, Cheektowaga, Cuyahoga Falls, Kalamazoo, Charlevoix, Roseville, Peoria, Omaha, Bonner Springs, Wichita, Norman, OKC, Dallas, St. Louis, Cincinnati, Champaign, Tinley Park, East Troy, Columbus, Burgettstown, Philadelphia, East Rutherford, Norfolk, Landover, Ocean City, Winnipeg, Saskatoon, Regina, Edmonton, Calgary, Vancouver, Concord, Paso Robles, Costa Mesa, Sacramento, Mountain View, Reno, Salt Lake City, Englewood, Atlantic City, Dallas, Houston, Omaha, Sioux Falls, Minneapolis, Peoria, Cedar Rapids, Hamilton, Philadelphia, Winston Salem, Charlotte, Atlanta, Chapel Hill, Roanoke, Hampton, Morrison, Atlanta, Salt Lake City, Salem, Seattle, Victoria, Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, Winnipeg, St. Joseph, Bloomington, Rosemont, Kentwood, London, Toronto, Montreal, Ottawa, Binghamton, Worcester, Hampton, Richmond, Morgantown, Greensboro, Greenville, Charlotte, Columbia, St. Petersburg, Orlando, Miami, Birmingham, New Orleans, Dallas, San Antonio, Tempe, Universal City, San Jose, Oakland, San Juan Capistrano, Las Vegas, Pueblo, Tulsa, Springfield, St. Louis, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Toledo, Lakewood, NYC, Harrisburg, Asbury Park, Philadelphia, Poukeepsie, New Haven, Providence, Cohoes, Boston, Northhampton, Baltimore, Charlottesville, Charlotte, Winston Salem, Charleston, Richmond, NYC, Newark, Martinsburg, Norfolk, Raleigh, Atlanta, New Orleans, Memphis, Nashville, Louisville, Dayton, Charleston, Landover, Hartford, Worcester, Portland, Uniondale, NYC, Buffalo, Toledo, Mississauga, Albany, Providence, Hershey, Syracuse, Richfield, Rosemont, Indianapolis, Roseville, Auburn Hills, Bloomington, Carbondale, Chattanooga, Lexington, Cincinnati, Knoxville, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, NYC, Richmond, Hampton, Chapel Hill, Roanoke, Atlanta, NYC, Macon, Valdosta, Florance, Memphis, Birmingham, Savannah, Columbia, Sunrise, Orlando, Tampa, Jacksonville, Pensacola, Nashville, Chicago, Milwaukee, Davenport, Omaha, Kansas City, OKC, Dallas, Houston, Lubbock, Albuquerque, Denver, Richland, Portland, Spokan, Seattle, San Francisco, San Jose, Davis, Santa Barbara, Fresno, San Diego, Mesa, Tuscon, Los Angeles, London, Tipperary, Oslo, Hultsfred, Copenhagen, Helsinki, Stockholm, Derby, Utrecht, Brussels, Amsterdam, Munich, Basel, Hamburg, Berlin, Hannover, Nijmegen, Tilburg, Mainz, Gelsenkirchen, Augsburg, Ludwigshafen, Nurmeberg, Modena, Milan, Dortmund, Rotterdam, Vincennes, Luxembourg, London, Bristol, Birmingham, Manchester, Moscow, Oxford, London, Portsmouth, Cambridge, Newport, Newcastle, Liverpool, Glasgow, Aberdeenn, Edinburgh, Blackburn, Sheffield, Belfast, Dublin, London, Durham, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Tokyo, Sendai, Yokohama, Nagoya, Osaka, Brisbane, Newcastle, Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide, Christchurch, Wellington, Auckland, Minneapolis, Omaha, Kansas City, St. Louis, Grand Rapids, Milwaukee, Chicago, Detroit, Indianapolis, Dayton, Cleveland, Columbus, Toronto, Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Upper Darby, New Haven, Albany, NYC, Boston, Washington DC, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Roanoke, Richmond, Columbia, Knoxville, Charleston, Raleigh, Greensboro, Spartanburg, Sunrise, Orlando, Tampa, Pensacola, Starkville, Birmingham, Chattanooga, Nashville, Memphis, New Orleans, Tibideaux, Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, Mesa, San Diego, Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, Davis, Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, Concord, San Jose, Berlin, Hamburg, Copenhagen, Stockholm, Nuremberg, Munich, Stuttgart, Neu-Isenberg, Koln, Newport, Bradford, Manchester, Sheffield, Glasgow, Newcastle, Birmingham, London, Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Deinze, Glasgow, Paris, Barcelona, Madrid, NYC, Macon, Gainesville, Dothan, Jacksonville, Savannah, Jackson, Hammond, Little Rock, Houston, Austin, Shreveport, OKC, Tulsa, Des Moines, Madison, Dekalb, Marquette, East Lansing, Davenport, Champaign, Salina, St. Joseph, Springfield, Evansville, Carbondale, Cincinnati, Ft. Wayne, Toledo, Ann Arbor, Louisville (Sorry, Wegs! ) Rochester, Ithaca, Daytona Beach, Hampton, Hershey, Bethlehem, Old Brookville, Poughkeepsie, Syracuse, Burlington, Providence, Worcester, Portland, Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto, Kitchener, Sault Saint Marie, Thunder Bay, Winnipeg, Regina, Calgary, Edmonton, Spokane, Boise, Salt Lake City, Albuquerque, Tuscon, El Paso, Odessa, Amarillo, Erie, Springfield, New Haven, Hartford, Vienna, Nuremberg, Landgraaf, Odense, Glastonbury, Shuttorf, Lille, Rouen, Belfort, Torhout, Werchter, Amsterdam, Frauenfeld, Oslo, London, Stratford Upon Avon, Los Angeles, Memphis, Mountain View, Atlanta, NYC, London, Nashville, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Boston, Toronto, Detroit, Chicago, Minneapolis, San Jose, San Francisco, West Hollywood, Universal City, San Diego, Newport, Dublin, Belfast, Glasgow, Manchester, Wolverhampton, Groningen, Hannover, Offenbach, Ludwigsburg, Munich, Copenhagen, Stockholm, Oslo, Berlin, Hamburg, London, Portsmouth, Nottingham, Sheffield, Koln, Paris, Brussels, Rotterdam, Zurich, Sesto San Giovannni, Toulon, Barcolona, Madrid, St. Paul, Milwaukee, Indianapolis, St. Louis (NEED VIDEO) Des Moines, Chicago, Toledo, Cleveland, Buffalo, Toronto, NYC, Boston, Detroit, Upper Darby, New Haven, Fairfax, Pensacola, Tampa, Gainesville, Sunrise, Nashville, Atlanta, Birmingham, Fort Mill, Knoxville, Memphis, New Orleans, Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, Houston, Little Rock, Tulsa, OKC, Kansas City, Denver, Salt Lake City, LA, Santa Barbara, Mesa, San Diego, Berkeley, Monterey, Las Vegas, Glastonbury, Frankfurt, Erlangen, Stockholm, Roskilde, Munich, Linz, Kristiansand, Utrecht, Weert, Turku, London, Glasgow, Sheffield, Vigo, Zaragoza, San Sebastian, Gijon, Lisbon, Montelier, Basel, Maryland Heights, Noblesville, Burgettstown, Columbus, Wantagh, Old Orchard Beach, Stanhope, Mansfield, Saratoga Springs, Hartford, Cincinnati, Tinley Park, Milwaukee, Clarkston, Somerset, Philadelphia, Bristow, Raleigh, Atlanta, Dallas, Austin, Carson, Mountain View, Atlanta, Sao Paulo, Vina Del Mar, Buenos Aries, Rio De Janiero, Atlanta, Devore, Las Vegas, Rochester Hills, Minneapolis, Chicago, Gardner, Mansfield, Asbury Park, Washington DC, NYC, Berkeley, Reno, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, Salt Lake City, Denver, Boulder, St. Louis, Kansas City, Cincinnati, Chicago, Indianapolis, Milwaukee, Columbus, South Bend, Cleveland, Albany, Syracuse, Toronto, Detroit, Montreal, Pittsburgh, Plattsburgh, Durham, Boston, Wallingford, NYC, Amherst, Providence, Upper Darby, Washington Dc, Norfolk, Essen, Hilversum, London, Richmond, Charlotte, Raleigh, Atlanta, Pensacola, Sunrise, Jacksonville, St. Petersburg, Little Rock, Tulsa, Lafayette, Dallas, Austin, Phoenix, Los Angeles, San Diego, Las Vegas, Bristol, Leeds, Glasgow, Wolverhampton, Cambridge, Southhampton, Hannover, Munster, Hamburg, Copenhagen, Oslo, Stockholm, Berlin, Prague, Budapest, Viennna, Ljubijana, Milan, Barcelona, Madrid, Pamplona, Lyon, Stuttgart, Munich, Neu-Isenburg, Amsterdam, Koln, Paris, Brussels, London, Sheffield, Manchester, Newport, Dublin, West Palm Beach, Atlanta, Charlotte, Raleigh, Virginia Beach, Bristow, Camden, Scranton, Mansfield, Queens, Agawam, Saratoga Springs, Darien Lake, Toronto, Hershey, Columbus, Clarkston, Burgettstown, Cincinnati, East Troy, Tinley Park, Maryland Heights, Noblesville, Somerset, Englewood, Portland, Mountain View, Irvine, NYC, New Haven, Portland, Lowell, Hampton Beach, Northhampton, Hyannis, Sugarbush, Seabright, Winston-Salem, Athens, Orlando, Tampa, Sunrise, New Orleans, Shreveport, Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, Jacksonville, Fort Myers, Wilmington, Cleveland, Columbus, Detroit, Cincinnati, Fort Wayne, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington DC, Aspen, Bloomington, Grand Rapids, Indianapolis, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Des Moines, Columbia, St. Louis, Tinley Park, NYC, Houston, Northhampton UK, London, Glasgow, Manchester, Amsterdam, Paris, Koln, Copenhagen, Hamburg, Munich, Milan, Madrid, Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, Santa Cruz, Fresno, Sacramento, San Diego, Tuscon, Scottsdale, Hollywood, Atlanta, Raleigh, Myrtle Beach, Reading, NYC, Toronto, Brussels, Madrid, Paris, Stockholm, Milan, Rome, Tokyo, Miami, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, St. Louis, Chicago, Grand Rapids, Akron, New Orleans, Detroit, Columbus, Cincinnati, Boston, NYC, Toronto, Geneva, Lexington, Philadelphia, Carlisle, Albany, Wallingford, Waterville, Uncasville, New Brunswick, Greenville, Greensboro, Columbia, Norfolk, Charlotte, Augusta, Lake Buena Vista, Sunrise, Tampa, Tulsa, Little Rock, Evansville, Knoxville, Atlanta, Birmingham, New Orleans, Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston, Irvine, San Francisco, San Diego, Phoenix, Los Angeles, Denver, Atlanta, San Antonio, Houston, Bonner Springs, Maryland Heights, Noblesville, Chicago, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Columbus, Nashville, Charlotte, Raleigh, Pittsburgh, Detroit, Bristow, Camden, Mansfield, Wantagh, Holmdel, Stockholm, Hamburg, Munich, Nuremberg, Munich, Linz, Zurich, Luxembourg, Koln, London, Brussels, Paris, Frankfurt, Nijmegen, Blelefeld, Erfurt, Ringe, Belfort, Monza, Naples, Rome, Barcelona, Madrid, Lisbon, Amsterdam, Nottingham, Dublin, Manchester, London, Mt. Fuji, East Rutherford, NYC, Worcester, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Charleston, Tinley Park, Auburn Hills, Burgettstown, Milwaukee, Holmdel, Mansfield, Raleigh, Bristow, Camden, Wantagh, NYC, Albuquerque, NYC, Washington DC., NYC, Las Vegas, Austin, London, Myrtle Beach, Knoxville, Charlotte, Zephyr HIlls, Orlando, West Palm Beach, Atlanta, Nashville, Memphis, NYC, Las Vegas, Santa Barbara, Los Angeles, Denver, St. Paul, Tinley Park, Toronto, Cuyahoga Falls, Foxboro, Wallingford, Camden, Noblesville, Clarkston, Darien Lake, Columbia, NYC, Mansfield, Wohlen, Oberhausen, Amsterdam, Berlin, Munich, Nuremberg, Werchter, Hamburg, Stockholm, Oslo, Odense, Erfurt, Brescia, Montreux, Paris, Weert, Derby, Wolverhampton, Glasgow, London, Cardiff, Tokyo, Nagoya, Fukuoka, Osaka, Green Bay, Fargo, Nampa, Spokane, Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, Las Vegas, San Diego, Sun City West, Tuscon, Farmington, Austin, Dallas, NYC, Poughkeepsie, University Park, Atlantic City, Providence, West Springfield, Asbury Park, Glens Falls, Chicago, Rockford, Minneapolis, Madison, Columbus, Ypsilanti, Milwaukee, Davenport, Kansas City, St. Louis, Athens, Atlanta, Raleigh, Sunrise, Sarasota, Tupelo, New Orleans, NYC, Boston, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Chicago, Toronto, Boston, NYC, Lyon, Strasbourg, Berlin, Hamburg, Cologne, Paris, Bordeaux, Barcelona, Madrid, Milan, Moden, Zurich, Munich, Brussels, Amsterdam, Dublin, Belfast, Hull, Newcastle, Sheffield, Hull (again!) Exeter, Plymouth, Nottingham, Birmingham, Manchester, Glasgow, Aberdeen, Boston, Minneapolis, Portland, Vancouver, San Diego, Salt Lake City, Boulder, Chicago, London, Cardiff, Washington DC, Norfolk, Philadelphia, Rochester, Toronto, Montreal, Boston, NYC, Hartford, Portland, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Detroit, Chicago, Minneapolis, Vermillion, Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, Denver, Lawrence, St. Louis, Los Angeles, Anaheim, London, Gent, Frankfurt, Tilburg, Lille, Paris, Rouen, Toulouse, Madrid, Barcelona, Nashville, Orlando, Tampa, Miami, Atlanta, Kansas City, St. Louis, Hershey, London, Fairfax, Pittsburgh, Milwaukee, Indianapolis, Moline, Columbus, Buffalo, Scranton, Milan, Copenhagen, Hamburg, London, Isle of Wight, Madrid, Barcelona, Amsterdam, Vienna, Prague, Frankfurt, Bonn, Uster, Edinburgh, Manchester, Atlanta, Boston, Hampton Beach, Montreal, Toronto, Norfolk, Charlotte, Pensacola, Ft. Lauderdale, Orlando, Indianapolis, Little Rock, Montgomery, Estero, West Palm Beach, Tamps, Manchester, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Camden, Mansfield, Birmingham, Wantagh, Holmdel, Hartford, Darien Lake, Grand Rapids, Cleveland, Milwaukee, Sioux City, Maryland Heights, Bonner Springs, Tulsa, Antioch, Lansing, Tinley Park, Cadott, Des Moines, Clarkston, Noblesville, Detroit Lakes, Scranton, Columbus, Columbia, Mansfield, Saratoga Springs, Atlantic City, San Francisco, Osaka, Tokyo, Morrison, Chula Vista, Devore, Reno, Marysville, Berkeley, Henderson, Morrison, George, Long Beach, Telluride, Phoenix, Tuscon, OKC, Grand Prairie, Austin, Huntsville, Birmingham, Upper Darby, Lexington, Washington, DC, Nashville, Memphis, Minneapolis, St. Louis, Kansas City, Magna, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Denver, Detroit, Milwaukee, Chicago, Springfield, Providence, NYC, Orlando, Myrtle Beach, Asheville, Sunrise, Atlanta, London, Amsterdam, Scottsdale, Bakersfield, Pozo, Victoria, Vancouver, Kamloops, Calgary, Edmonton, Winnipeg, Thunder Bay, London, Ottawa, Toronto, Johnson City, Mt. Pleasant, Des Moines, South Bend, Louisville, Hampton Beach, Seattle, Ridgefield, Marysville, LA, Las Vegas, San Diego, Mountain View, Maryland Heights, Chicago, Pittsburgh, Nashville, Birmingham, Dallas, Houston, Austin, Atlanta, Tampa, West Palm Beach, Charlotte, Raleigh, Norfolk, Masontown, Atlantic City, Uncasville, Wantagh, Gifford, Holmdel, Mansfield, Clarkston, Cleveland, Philadelphia, Saratoga Springs, Columbus, Milwaukee, Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Somerset, Sturgis, Jackson Hole, Billings, Morrison, Richmond, Reading, Charlottesville, Raleigh, Providence, Syracuse, Washington, DC, East Lansing, Milwaukee, Davenport, Sioux City, Fargo, Kansas City, Council Bluff, Flagstaff, Lake Havasu, Morongo, Fresno, Santa Cruz, Kelseyville, Atlanta, New Orleans, Charenton, San Antonio, Las Vegas, Chicago, South Burlington, Rochester, Worcester, Buffalo, Baltimore, Sayreville, Lake Castaic, Jackson, LA, Aspen, Interlochen, Milwuakee, Chicago, Oshkosh, San Francisco, Bethlehem, Glen Allen, Ashburn, Baltimore, NYC, Canton, Atlantic City, Hyannis, Northampton, Danbury, Portland, Myrtle Beach, Knoxville, Orlando, Boca Raton, Atlanta, Orange Beach, Nashville, Rockford, Kansas City, Ft. Worth, Houston, Austin, Oklahoma City, Santa Fe, Morrison, Telluride, Bend, Portland, Eugene, Seattle, Boise, Oakland, Reno, LA, San Diego, Las Vegas, Anaheim, Pozo, Minneapolis, Chicago, St. Louis, Memphis, Cincinnati, Louisville, Asheville, Dallas, Bossier City, New Orleans, NYC, Philadelphia,  Sayreville, NYC, Boston, Chicago, Owensboro, Atlanta, San Francisco, LA, Byron Bay, Perth, Adelaide, Melbourne, Sydney, Wollongong, Canberra, New Castle, Auckland, London, Amsterdam, Salmanaca, Laughlin, Stateline, Valley Center, West Palm Beach, Memphis, Norman, Thackerville, Addison, Chattanooga, St. Louis, Hershey, Hampton Beach, Philadelphia, Charlottesville, Jim Thorpe, Ottawa, Sarnia, Toronto, Winnipeg, Edmonton, Calgary, Commerce City, Kansas City, Tulsa, St. Louis, Elizabeth, Grand Rapids, Cleveland, Bridgeport, Newport, Vienna, Pittsburgh, Covington, Columbus, East Troy, Wichita, Fayetteville, Council Bluffs, Jackson Hole, Milwaukee, St. Paul, Victoria, Vancouver, Portland, Jacksonville, Puyallup, Arcata, Alpharetta, Richmond, Atlantic City, Albany, Northampton, Providence, Portland, Boston, Buffalo, Burlington, Washington DC, NYC, Charlotte, Raleigh, Clearwater, Orlando, Miami Beach, St. Augustine, Birmingham, Nashville, New Orleans, Houston, Dallas, Austin, Chicago, Detroit, Milwaukee, Fargo, Minneapolis, Des Moines, Denver, San Francisco, Macon, Woodstock, Amsterdam, Vittoria, London, Biloxi, Enterprise, Ozark, Hampton Beach, Fredericton, Rothbury, Columbus, Des Moines, Kansas City, Minneapolis, Louisville, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Kettering, Waukesha, Hammond, Buffalo, Tulsa, Robinsonville, Vienna, Hyannis, Boston, Atlantic City, Baltimore, Lancaster, NYC, Westbury, Asbury Park, Va. Beach, Bridgeport, Jim Thorpe, Utica, Rama, London, Ont., Providence, Burlington, Kingston, Oklahoma City, Huntsville, Nashville, Oxford, Knoxville, Charlotte, Asheville, Atlanta, Myrtle Beach, Pompano Beach, Clearwater, Lake Buena Vista, New Orleans, Birmingham, Austin, Houston, Dallas, Bossier City, Beaumont, El Paso, Phoenix, Grand Rapids, Chicago, Milwaukee, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Denver, Beaver Creek, Salt Lake City, Seattle, Portland, Reno, San Diego, LA, Las Vegas, and San Francisco.

Why do you ask?

SG

Steve,

I recently purchased a 22″ A custom ping ride. Sounds killer.  Thank you for the inspiration. I was wondering if and how you muffle your ride cymbal. Do you just leave the cymbal stock? Lay some duct

tape on it? A moongel on the bottom? Thanks and looking forward to the next SF fillmore run.

Brian

Brian

I unwrap it, place it on a cymbal stand, and start smacking it with a drum stick.  If I don’t like the sound, I hit it harder.  Works every time.

Don’t over think this stuff, man.

Your sound is your sound.

Let the cymbal be the cymbal.

You know….all that zen bullshit.

SG

Steve,

My question is simple. When will we see the Black Crowes back in Australia?

JC

JC

Just as soon as we get there, my man.  Honest!

SG

Dear Steve,

Love the Crowes, and really enjoy the wit and wisdom of WWWS.

I have, however, a two-part question of global, some might even claim biblical, proportions.

1) If any other player but Thierry Henry touches the ball does the ref call the French side for a handball?

2) What punishment will the football gods deliver unto said French national team…plagues…boils…a loss to South Africa…another Bush in the White House?

I know, these are weighty questions. But if any drummer in the world has the answers, its you!

Thanks in advance,

Roger

Roger

Thank you for your support of both the band’s music and of my higher calling.

Weighty questions indeed, but as I have spent the last few months in deep contemplation of this incident, I have no trouble offering my thoughts.

1)  No.  Henry wasn’t given preferential treatment.  The referee was obviously incapable of calling such an important match loaded with so many international implications.  Henry, or anyone else, could have dribbled it like a basketball and the ref wouldn’t have made the call.  (Oh wait, he actually did dribble it like a basketball… okay, well, point proven.)  Anyway, the ref found himself out of position at clutch time and that is unforgivable in such a crucial match.

2)  The Football Gods will deliver no punishment unto said French National Team, as no punishment is due.  Players play, and refs ref.  Again, this was a ref’s mistake, not a player’s mistake.

However, I believe you are on the right track with your question – you just have the wrong team in mind.

The question isn’t  “what will the Football Gods do to punish the French?” – it’s “what did the Irish do to receive such punishment from the Football Gods?”

Obviously, the Irish are guilty of some prior, unimaginably horrible crime against the beautiful game and this Henry handball incident was simply justice being brutally served in heart breaking fashion.  (What could this crime be, you ask?  Who knows?  The invention of and overwhelming passion for Gaelic Football, perhaps?  Hurling?  No idea – your guess is as good as mine.)

Now, I know some people will be greatly offended by this theory.  Hell, I love a Guinness as much as the next guy and  I happen to be of just under 100% Irish heritage, so it’s not easy to say these things.  History shows, however, than whenever the opportunity arises, it’s best to play it safe and BLAME THE IRISH.  Don’t mess with this stuff, Roger.  It’s serious business.  Just to cover your bases, you might want to wager on the French this summer.  I’m just sayin’.

SG

Dear Steve,

I am a huge Black Crowes’ fan. I have seen the band over 50 times and also have had the pleasure to meet you once. When I did meet you I told you I was a drummer and that I enjoyed your drum parts, and you replied, “Why, because they’re easy?“

Anyway, my question/problem: I’m getting married on October 23rd and cannot convince my fiancee’ to have a Black Crowes’ song as our wedding song. My first attempt was, “The Last Place that Love Hides”, as out 1st dance; I told her that anger will never get rid of our love and that love is behind her eyes, but she looked at me like I was crazy.

So far, I think she’ll agree to “Remedy” being played when they introduce the wedding party, but I might have to wear a tutu on our honeymoon for that one.

Anyway, can you suggest a great wedding song for our first dance? Or can you help me convince her of what a great tune, “Love Hides” would be? She even denied, “Here, There, and Everywhere” by The Beatles. If not I’m stuck with, “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.”

Sincerely,

Deano the Drummer

Deano

You should have written before blowing your first (and best) shot on “The Last Place That Love Hides”.  You probably won’t have another chance to run that one up the flagpole now.

For starters, I could have informed you that the song is, in fact, called “The Last Place That Love Lives”. I don’t know if this minor detail would have helped, but I have to think that when describing the love upon which you are building a life together,  living beats hiding.

Even with the proper title in place, though, I am siding with your bride to be on this one.  There’s no good reason for you guys to dance to a sad and slow, albeit beautiful, dirge about a bizarre, hermitic woman with a fondness for shhhushing people who’s holed up in a mountain compound behind iron doors the size of grain silos as you are entering your new lives as husband and wife.

That’s not to say you should go with “I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing”, either.  I am sure we’ve all heard that song more than we ever needed to in the first place.  (Meaning, more than once.)

If I were you, I’d go in an entirely different direction, Deano.

Al Green, Marvin Gaye, Otis Redding….these men recorded dozens of slow, romantic tunes for the simple reason that husbands and wives always have to do that first dance and they are usually a little self conscious.  A grooving backbeat in straight time (very important to the average, rhythmically challenged couple) underneath timeless lyrics of love and respect sung with more soul than any current R&B singer could ever hope to summon in a lifetime?  Man, that’s wedding dance gold!

You give up the Crowes, she drops Aerosmith, you both dance down the tracks of the soul train- and you’ll thank me in the end.

To which, of course,  I’ll simply reply, “you’re welcome, Deano”.

SG

Steve

Been a long time fan of your band and I don’t miss a show when y’all come home to Atlanta for a show.

My question to you is I want to go on a guys trip to Las Vegas but I don’t know how to ask my wife.  One, she will want to go too and two, we just adopted a sweet baby girl and I feel bad about leaving two of the most precious things in my life behind for a weekend.  However, I need a getaway with life long friends of boozing, gambling, and fun.

What should I do?  Be a responsible husband and father and not go or work some kind of magic and go on this trip?  Thanks for the advice and can’t wait to the see The Black Crowes in Atlanta again soon.

Danny

Danny

Try something like this:

“Babe, remember when I stressed repeatedly throughout the very long and stressful adoptive process we just struggled through that I would always be a responsible and caring parent?  And that I understood our lives would be forever changed with a new set of priorities and obligations?

I still believe all those things, of course, but here’s the thing:  the guys are going to Vegas for the weekend and I think I should go.  I mean, just because we have the baby doesn’t mean our lives stop, does it?  She joined OUR lives, after all…

Anyway, I just need to blow off some steam.  You know, a fun weekend of drunken, reckless gambling wherein I tell every stripper I meet that I am a dad now!

God, I’ll miss you guys so much!”

I think you’ll be good to go.

SG

Hello Mr. Gorman,

Is it acceptable to have a ‘man-crush’ on a professional athlete? For

instance, I have an affinity for Mr. Derek Jeter and have thus become

confused. Is it wrong that i wish i was with him all the time? Is it wrong

that I say to myself , “I bet he looks great in a speedo”?

I think it might be. But i am not sure. Any help would be appreciated.

THANKS STEVE.

Peace,

Dave

Dave

Relax, Dave, no confusion necessary.  It’s perfectly acceptable, within the confines of your very active imagination, to have a “man crush” on Derek Jeter.   He’s the best of his generation – all that’s right about baseball – and if you must have this sort of fixation on someone, I think you’ve chosen well.

It might help you to know that I also was briefly fixated on Derek Jeter, back in the fall of 1996.  The Yankees had beaten both of my teams (Orioles and Braves) on their way to a championship, and like you now, I couldn’t get Jeter out of my mind.

Unlike you, though, I wasn’t picturing Derek in a speedo.  I was picturing him in an ambulance holding his knee screaming, “Why me?” a la Nancy Kerrigan.  Yes, Dave, I was actually considering going Gillooly on him.

As I watched Wade Boggs on that godforsaken horse trot around the House That Ruth Built, I recognized immediately and with a heavy heart that ‘96 was just the beginning of what was sure to be a dark chapter in my life.  What should have been the dawn of a bright and beautiful Atlanta Braves dynasty (tears are starting to well up as I write this) was showing itself instead to be a rebirth of the same old horrible, rotten Yankees dynasty.  It was too much to take.  And I blamed Jeter.  And, dammit, I still do.

But, and this is the most important part, Dave – this has all stayed well within the confines of my very active imagination.

No harm done.

Keep it to yourself, fella.

SG

Hey Steve,

First I must say that “Been a Long Time” rocks my balls like few songs can. Rarely do songs come along that will hold the test of time. I will rock that one until death do us part.

But now-a-days I have a problem with what I find myself listening to. I get in these phases where I am so curious about music that I have to search online for answers. I hate that I waste a ton of time listening to crap to find out why it was so popular or what these people are doing today. I suppose it leads back to my early days of radio and my crappy beginnings of record collecting.

Today I was thinking “What the hell happened to Steve Perry of Journey?” I know, the first thing that comes to mind is “Who give a shit?” But my mind said “no” and off I went to Wikipedia and that is where it all branched out and turned my day into Journey research. I can say proudly that I never owned a Journey album but I did own the 1st Foreigner record. When Infinity came out I was blown away but I could not buy it. At that time I was heading into the punk scene and the kid I got a ride to school with was always cranking it full blast in the car through the worst car stereo available at the time. No need to buy that. I never dreamed that I would hear it on classic rock for the next millennium..

So now after listening to all those early Journey albums (OK I could not make it all the way through most) before Steve Perry and after I am wondering if I am better off than I was yesterday. I have killed my craving to know what happened to Steve Perry but am I better off or did I just waste some life on a band I will try to never listen to again?

I did find out that some of these guys came from Santana. Here’s a fact worth a mention from Wikipedia: “Drummer Aynsley Dunbar played with John Mayall, Frank Zappa, Ian Hunter, Lou Reed, Jefferson Starship, Jeff Beck, David Bowie, Whitesnake, Sammy Hagar, UFO, and Journey and did not get along with singer Steve Perry and did not approve of the new musical direction.” That is a crazy roster of famous bands/acts. The guy must be pretty good.

Question: Was it a waste of time listenening to the Journey records today or was I adding to my musical knowledge?

Now listening to Quincy Jones and His Orchestra “Soul Bossa Nova”. We all know why this is great.

Cheers,

Scott

Scott

I am glad to hear that “Been a Long Time” rocks your balls, and I am also thankful that you didn’t feel compelled to explain any further.

Was it a waste of time?  Were you adding to your musical knowledge?  Who cares?

Scott, take a look at the big picture here – you had a Steve Perry question and you were able to drop everything and pursue an answer for at least an hour!  Then, you had time to question what it all means and send me a long winded letter wherein you over-explain yourself, which most likely took another hour out of your day!  This tells me that you are either homeless (which I doubt, as I think you would have mentioned it in several paragraphs of back story) or you are your own boss.  Who else has that kind of time?

And to top it all off, now you’re listening to Quincy Jones while trying to figure it all out!

You’re living the dream, baby!  Stop sweating the details!

SG

Hi Steve,

So, the wife and I have 3 kids (9yo, 17mo and 2mo). Well after the birth of our first, we were told by “smart” doctors that we would never have another child. The joke was on them and us…I guess. We’ve now had 2 more in less than 2 years. It was a great surprise to be honest.

Now with 3 boys we decided it was time to shut down the baby machine.

So, today I went under the knife and am currently icing my nether region and am on some nice pain meds.

My question is: For how long can I milk my post-op lounging and getting high legally before feeling guilty about my wife juggling the 3 kids? A weekend seems fair to me.

Seedless in Raleigh

Seedless

You can milk it for however long you can hold a bag of ice on your “nether region”.

If that’s a weekend, so be it.

If you can go longer, let ‘er rip.

It’s not like you can try this schtick again next year, so make the most of this blessed opportunity.

SG