What's Wrong With Steve?

Hey Steve

Why not stop by the Green Mill before the show on Friday?

Old Al Capone bar, half a block down from the Riv. Blind guy on the organ. Always a good primer for a great Crowes show.

BCM

BCM

Why not?  I’ll tell you why not – I did that once before when we played the Riv, and the blind guy on the organ made a new friend that night called the blind drunk guy on the drum kit.  I stumbled out of that joint and made a beeline straight to the stage and believe me when I say that it wasn’t pretty.

Live and learn, my man.

I sincerely appreciate the offer, though.  Cheers!

SG

Steve

Cats or dogs, which is the superior animal?

Keep on keepin’ on….

Beth

Beth

Dogs.

Please don’t write back asking for an explanation.  I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

The plan has long been to keep on keepin’ on, so no worries there.

SG

Hi Steve,

I’m a miserable soul.  I have been a Cubs fan since before I was born.  Since before my father was born.  I don’t hold a grudge against my grandfather for doing this to my family but I can’t help think “what if he would have lived on the South Side?” I am coming to terms that they will never win a World Series much less a pennant.  My father tried to come to terms a couple decades ago.  As a young, naive child I tried to tell him that it wouldn’t always be this way.  He would laugh at me and say “you’ll see, you’ll see, those Bums will always let you down”.  I wonder why my father instilled this horrible affliction of being a Cubs fan on me if he knew this is how it was going to be.  Is my father cruel?  Did I do something to my mother prior to being born that made him upset?  How do I change what’s been instilled in me since the day I was born?  How does one go about reversing instinct?  How do I make my heart be a Yankee fan?  Nevermind that last one.

Please help!

BP

BP

BP, as your experience sadly affirms, child abuse comes in many forms.

Some parents kick it old school with dramatic belt removals followed by furious spankings.

Others stay current and cutting edge by regularly saying things like “I am so sorry that Santa Claus didn’t get you what you wanted – let’s go to the mall and see if we can’t make this all better”.

Either way, the child in question is sure to develop some troubling emotional damage.

But, there’s another form of child abuse that can be just as damaging and confusing.

Sports Team Fan Transference. Sounds horrible, doesn’t it?  And as you know so well, it is horrible.

And yet, it happens every day in this great land of ours.  Like all other forms of emotional abuse, it’s a cyclical epidemic that can only be stopped when one, such as yourself, has the courage to confront it.

Your father, like his father before him, wasn’t a cruel man.  He simply did the best he could with the tools that he was given.  And sadly for you, the sledge hammer in his “emotional tool box” was a little baseball club called the Cubs.

But you, BP, are not your father.  You are not your grandfather.  You are BP, and maybe one day (if not already) you will be a father yourself.  And that’s where your healing has to begin.

I’ll bottom line it for you:  you’re screwed.  It’s too late for you.  You’re a Cubs guy and you’ll stay a Cubs guy.  Got it?

Your sole release from this pain has to come from the next generation.  Pledge to yourself right now that you won’t stamp this curse upon your own children’s souls.  Promise to let them pick and choose their own teams.  Give your children the freedom you are longing for.

Might they also choose the Cubs and enter a lifetime of suffering?  Sure, they might.  But, having made that choice for themselves it will be easier for them to reconsider down the road and find a new team without all the guilt you are experiencing.  They won’t feel like they are betraying their old man.  They won’t feel like they owe it to anyone to stay with a perennial loser.  They won’t consider jumping on the Yankees bandwagon, which more than anything else illustrates the depths of your misery.

They won’t feel, in short, like you, BP.

And that’s a gift that’ll keep on giving.

I thank you, on their behalf, in advance.

SG

Hi Steve

I’m having trouble timing the intro to Led Zeppelin’s “Rock and Roll” properly and figure a swinging cat like you is qualified to shine a light on this persnickety riddle.  If I stand on one foot and count backwards from sixteen and a half in Norse…will that help?  I hate to bother you with this, but next weekend I’m subbing with a country band whose songlist includes the tune and don’t want to hack my way through it.

Thanks,

Smitty

Smitty

Assuming you have the requisite wrist strength on the left side to successfully emulate the pattern, you needn’t count backwards in Norse, or light a candle every September 25, or re-read The Hobbit, or do any of the many well intentioned but ultimately useless things drummers do when looking for help with this deceptively difficult intro.

Here’s the trick – don’t worry about it.   As soon as the audience hears that open high hat with the rumbling freight train snare work take off, they will realize immediately what song it is, start to cheer,  and you’ll be off the hook.

The onus is then on your bandmates to come in on a beat that makes sense.  If they don’t, and a train wreck ensues, you can always remind them that the crowd was going nuts until they messed it up.

Band politics 101.

SG

Hey Steve,

Long time fan. Saw you guys with Joan Jett and Aerosmith in Miami in 1990,  I think.

Here’s my question- I’ve recently been playing The Beatles: Rock Band and I’m realizing more now just how different Ringo was as a drummer.

His playing is pretty simple and very connected to the songs, yet less intuitive than a lot of subsequent rock drummers.

I can’t really put my finger on why, but learning the tunes is actually kinda difficult.

Any thoughts?

Spencer

San Francisco, CA

Spencer

First things first – I don’t remember ever having played a show in Miami with Aerosmith and Joan Jett.

We certainly did some shows with Aerosmith in 1990, but none were anywhere near Miami.

And, as much as we do in fact love rock n’ roll, we never were party to anyone putting another dime in any jukebox, baby, either.

So, with that cleared up, let’s move on:

Ringo Starr’s drumming is infallible, untouchable, and he is quite simply the greatest drummer in the history of rock n roll music.

So, there’s that.

With this in mind, it would stand to reason that you might struggle to learn his parts, even on so rudimentary a level as Rock Band provides.  I will resist the urge to write an endless screed about why Ringo’s drumming is beyond reproach and instead offer a quick “Q and A” to examine your specific points.

Q)  Was Ringo actually “different as a drummer”?

A)  Was Magic Johnson “different as a point guard“?  Was Frank Lloyd Wright “different as an architect”?  You bet your ass.  As much as people try to disparage Ringo’s playing, no one ever seems to have a suggestion as to what drummer would have made those recordings better.  And that’s because there was not, is not, and never will be, a drummer more perfectly suited for the Beatles.

Q)  Was his playing “pretty simple and connected to the songs”?

A)  If by “pretty simple”, you mean “pretty perfect” and if by “connected to the songs”, you mean, “integral to the execution of these rock n’ roll masterpieces”, then the answer is a resounding YES.

Q)  Was Ringo “less intuitive” than a lot of subsequent rock drummers?

A)  Absolutely not.   Few if any drummers in rock history have been more intuitive.  Ringo understood exactly what every song needed to have, and bear in mind he was working with not one, but three songwriters.

Q)  Any thoughts?

A)  Yes.  Don’t argue with me about this.  I know what I know.

I love John Bonham, Charlie Watts, Phil Rudd, and the nutjob from Wilco (and about a million other drummers) as much as anyone could.  They are all perfect for their bands.  They are all irreplaceable.  But Ringo was in THE BEATLES.

Check the scoreboard.

Ringo wins.

SG