What's Wrong With Steve?

Steve,

Rumor has it that the super loud whistling at the end of some tracks on

Before the Frost comes from you. Is this true? Is this another one of your

many talents?

Thanks,

Gary

Gary

Rumors are a lot like dogs.  They usually stink and no matter how hard you kick them, they just keep coming back with love.

Okay, now that doesn’t necessarily make sense, but I am sure you see my point – don’t believe everything you read online.  Before you know it, you’ll be questioning things like whether or not Andy Sturmer actually played the drums on Amorica.  And no one wants to go there.  Understand?  NO ONE.

SG

Steve

After all of these years as a public figure, what is your feeling on fans

approaching you for pictures and autographs?

Thanks,

Teddy

Teddy

I think it’s great!

Signing an autograph or pausing to take with a picture with a fan is the least I can do for someone who has supported our band over the years.

I never regret these simple, warm exchanges.

SG

(Unless, of course, that fan happens to be the kind of guy who takes a photo of me sleeping on a plane and then posts it on a message board for all to see.  See, when something like that happens,  I explode with rage and make a promise to the universe that I will hunt this person down personally and make him pay for such disrespectful behavior.

You hear me, monkeyboy72?  DO YOU HEAR ME? Your days are numbered, son.  I suggest you enjoy them to the fullest. )

Dear Steve,

Do you enjoy cheeseteaks? If so, Pat’s or Geno’s?

Dennis V from NJ

Dennis

What kind of question is that?

Of course I enjoy cheesesteaks!  I am still breathing, ain’t I?

But come on, dude – Pat’s or Geno’s?  You’re really not giving me much credit here.

That’s like asking McDonald’s or Burger King when obviously, we’re now living in a 5 Guys world.

For me and my man Philly Jon, it’s all about D’alessandro’s in Roxborough.

Case closed.

SG

Steve,

Last week I played my first gig out in eight years, great gig but i was

terrible with nerves. I never used to be like that. I could hardly keep a

hold of my drumsticks.

Usually when I start playing, after the first verse of the first song i

feel fine – not this time. it took till 3/4 way throught the set till i

felt better.

Still was a great gig for us, but i dont want to feel that bad.

What do you do to git rid of any nerves?

Ps you are my fav groove drummer, seen you at glastonbury back in 93,

Awesome!

Can i have one of your drumsticks please – that would be cool.

best regards.

Guy

Guy

Don’t beat yourself up over these nerves of yours.  The fact is this: you played your first gig in eight years and you actually got through the whole thing.  That in itself is an accomplishment, sir.  Eight years of rust is an awful lot to shake off in one night.  So, don’t be so hard on yourself.  Well done!

For the next gig, though, you won’t have that same excuse.  Saying “it’s my first gig in 8 years!” is a perfectly valid explanation for anything short of going into cardiac arrest during the set.  But the minute you say “I’ve just recently started playing again after an 8 year layoff”, you don’t get as much slack from people.  They expect you to be back on your game after a show or two, so it’s wise of you to seek counsel.

Back in the day, when I was feeling a little touch of the nerves before a show, I had a simple solution: I would drink 3 or 19 beers in the two hours leading up to the show.  Now, this isn’t what you’re thinking – young, hedonistic rocker partying his brains out etc. etc.  I mean, sure, the alcohol helped to ease inhibitions I suppose, but there was always more to it than that.  (Of course, as in the case of a show in Greenville, SC on New Year’s Eve ‘88-’89 alcohol can also completely ELIMINATE inhibitions….I just hope it’s not too late to say that I’m sorry to everyone from Greenstreets!  Great club!  Great P.A.!!!  Good people down there!!!)

Anyway, as I was saying, easing my inhibitions and tampering my nerves weren’t the only benefits from downing some pre-gig suds.  I found out early on that if my bladder were swollen to the size of a Slant 6 engine by gig time, the nerves didn’t bother me so much.  I was forced to focus solely on not pissing myself in a public place in front of a paying audience, and that really seemed to help with the jitters.

Now, I must admit that I’ll never know if I played any better or worse than usual, but again, I was more focused on dealing with my nerves, not the unwanted and completely subjective opinions from my bandmates on what “keeping time” means.

I compare these early, drunken gigs to what Michael Jordan did in the ‘97 finals against Utah.  He had the flu, as I am sure you remember, and when he should have been in a bed with an I.V. drip, he stomped all over the Jazz with 38 points in what many say was his finest game ever.  People were stunned that he could perform at such a level when stricken with such an illness.  Not me, though.  I always saw a little of myself in Mike that night.

Rock on, Guy!

Well, first drink up, and then rock on!

SG

Dear Steve,

My boss isn’t cool with me planning my cross country sales meetings around

the fall tour schedule. Yes, I’ve explained “it’s the f-ing black crowes

man”…no luck. I’m sure if we put your head and my corporate AMEX together

it can be solved, right?

-R. Byrd, Atlanta GA

R.,

Of course it can be solved! The only problem is that you neglected to include the card number, expiration date, name as it appears on card, and four digit security code in your post.  Get back to me with that information, then sit back and watch me weave a little web of consumer magic, baby!

I don’t know if it’ll help your situation with your boss, but I guarantee you that I’ll feel better.  Thanks, man, you’re the best!

SG

Dear Steve,

my girlfriend and i are having a baby (well she is, my work is done in that

respect, but beginning in another) be that as it may we have decided on

names if we have a girl but are stumped in regards to boys names. any

suggestions? keep in mind the awkward, almost discordant, sound of my last

name, grosh, pronounced graw-sh not grow-sh.

thank you in advance.

David and holly

ps does ole miss really have a chance at the sec title this year?

David

First things first –  CAPITAL LETTERS are really useful.  You’re not e.e. cummings, so get with the program.

Otherwise, your note is hilarious!  I almost spit out a mouthful of beer when you mentioned the words “Ole Miss” and “SEC Title” in the same sentence.  Man, that’s good stuff.

And finally, a good boy’s name to go with Grosh?  Hmmm.  I think Steven Andrew has a nice ring.  Steven Andrew Grosh.  Done!  You’re welcome!

(Surely, you saw that one coming.)

Dear Steve,

I am having some trouble trying to find time to still play guitar while I own and operate a restaurant 60 plus hours a week, go to online school fulltime, and have a girlfriend with a huge sexual appetite… What do i do??

Sincerely,

Jason C.

Jason,

I guess it all comes down to what you hope to accomplish by playing this guitar of yours.  If it’s just a hobby, then I would advise you to stay with it for as long as it makes you happy.

But then, if this were just a hobby, I can’t imagine you’d be asking me for advice on how to work it into your busy schedule.

So I have to assume you are thinking that you might be able to “make it” as a guitarist, and you are starting to blame your overloaded schedule for keeping you from this dream.

Jason, in the long and storied history of the human race, millions and millions of folks have picked up guitars and attempted to play what you might call “music of value.” And, just over 99.9% of them have made exactly zero money doing so.

You already own and operate a restaurant, are a fulltime online student (whatever that means) and have a girlfriend with a huge sexual appetite.

These three facts lead me to believe you aren’t still a teenager.  (But if you are, congratulations because you surely will be King of The World some day.)

Business ownership, an education, and a great sex life are three of the fundamental pillars of our great society, Jason!  Don’t you realize that?  In fact, I believe that next to the Webster’s Dictionary definition of the “American Dream”, there is a crude drawing of a guy in a chef’s hat holding a diploma with large, drooping bags under his eyes.

Jason, you ARE that American Dream.  Put the guitar down once and for all and accept your blessed life for the success that it already is.

SG

hi steve

ok then, is the mayan calendar correct? is the world going to end as we

know it on 21 dec 2012 at 11:11 universal time?

are they building new jerusalem in england, just as william blake said in

the song, last verse, will not cease from mental flight until we have built

jerusalem in englands green and pleasant land?

look at the site for the 2012 olympics in london, this has been planned for

a long long time! all the roads surrounding it have religious/biblical

references!

2012, tip over the end no 2 and you have zion!

check out the last few years olympic opening ceremonies on youtube, so many

references to ufo’s aliens DNA the start of life on earth….. very

mysterious! china, sydney, athens, atlanta, LA 1984 ufo at closing

ceremony, sydney 2000 torch lights a ufo underwater which rises up from the

water!

coming age of aquarius in 2012, water! check out the chinese mascots for

the coloured rings, one has a hat which is nibiru, the winged planet headed

our way soon! another has pyramid stuff, but the little blue one, which is

the water aquarius one has a spiritual 3rd eye! the others don’t!

are people stealing our energy through corporate logos like schwepps and

mcdonalds and starbucks features ISIS in their logo! forcing us

subconsciously to worship the sun god every time we purchase something with

a masonic symbol on it?

some say princess diana is ISIS, her official perfume happens to be called

ISIS! that makes prince william what? jesus? or perhaps these are the false

prophets and really he is the prophecised anti christ? who knows!

what do you think?

next time you guys are over here in the UK can i jam with you all?

cheers

mike

Mike

Last things first – you MAY NOT jam with us next time we’re in the UK.

And unfortunately, I don’t think I can answer any of your other questions.

Sorry about that, but thanks for making it very clear to me that we need to hire a top notch personal security detail for our next trip to the UK.

SG

Steve

All right, here’s the deal: I love to go out to the Great Plains every spring and chase storms, hoping to see the elusive tornado and make some kind of cosmic connection with the world around me. But everyone thinks I’m nuts. My wife thinks I’m nuts, my friends think I’m nuts, my family thinks I’m nuts, and my coworkers hope I get caught in one so they can get rid of me.

So what tune should I be playing on the stereo when I finally come face-to-face with that monster wedge of pummeling destruction?

Wes the Invincible

Wes

If I were you, I wouldn’t plan on listening to any music.  When your dream is finally realized and you are face to face with certain death as that F-5 approaches, I think you’ll be better served by taking in the natural sounds of what for you will truly be a “once in a lifetime” event.

No music,  just nature.

Nature.

Unstoppable, inevitable, perfect.

Nature.

Or, as you put it, a “cosmic connection” to the world around you.  Life on life’s terms.  A realization that things are exactly as they should be.  And that things sound exactly as they should sound.

And Wes, just think of the glorious symphony  Mother Nature will provide!

The sound of nonstop winds howling like an angry pack of rabid dogs.

The sound of yammering cattle expressing bewilderment at their newfound ability to fly.

The sound of tractors and trees colliding in mid-air.

The sound of houses and barns being ripped apart at their seams.

The sound of your incoherent, regret filled screams as you realize that, at the end of the day (which is, incidentally, your last day), you’re more than simply “nuts”, Wes – you’re an absolute idiot.

You know, nature.

SG

Steve,

is it true that “once you go black, you can never go back”? Please

expound…

Brian

Brian

It’s absolutely true, at least in my experience. Sure, we all start off with what we’re most familiar and comfortable with.  But then an opportunity arises that changes one’s entire view on such matters, and as you suggested, permanently alters the way one lives their life.

Like most folks, I grew up taking cues from my older siblings.  As I approached the age where I began experimenting, I immediately adopted their attitudes and their approach and found myself doing things the “Gorman” way.  It wasn’t until I was in college that I had my awakening.

It’s the kind of thing you hear about but never expect it to happen to you,  I suppose:  There I was, sitting in the dorm  pulling an all nighter to cram for a final, and I realized I was crashing.  I needed to get some air and rejuvenate so I could  push through until sunrise.  I walked past the kitchen and froze as I looked inside – standing by the refrigerator was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen.  She was absolutely stunning, with perfectly smooth caramel colored skin and the deepest, most inviting brown eyes I had ever gazed into.  She smiled as I stood in the doorway silently, awkwardly.

“You look pretty tired”, she said.

“Huh?  Oh, um, yeah, I am pretty fried…..got a final tomorrow”, I stammered, immediately cursing my stupidity as it was, in fact, finals week and therefore fairly obvious as to why I was up so late studying.

“You need a little pick me up?  I think I can help”, she said coquettishly.

I couldn’t believe my ears!  Did she just say what I thought she said?  Who is this girl?  Why haven’t I seen her before?  Why is she even talking to me?  And why is she talking to me like that?

“Well, uh, what did you have in mind?” I said, again immediately cursing myself for not having a better, wittier response.  Clearly, she was about to realize what a geek I was.

“Come over here, Einstein, and let me help,” she breathed.

I started walking towards her, almost floating really.  She turned away as I approached.  I could see that she was doing something with her hands, but what?!?

“My name is Steve.   I haven’t seen you around here befo-” I cut myself off.  “Shut up – Don’t ruin it!” I screamed inwardly.

I slowed, savoring the moment, and as she turned back to me, I couldn’t believe my eyes.  My stomach tightened and my heart pounded like rolling thunder in my chest. This was actually happening!

In her hands was a large, oversized mug of steaming hot, black coffee.  The aroma overtook me and my adrenalin surged.  She held it out wordlessly, clearly enjoying the excitement in my eyes.

I never thought to ask about milk, cream, half and half, or hell, even a non-diary creamer for that matter.  I simply accepted her coffee and drank it down lustily, and as the caffeine slammed into my bloodstream, I realized that this was how coffee was supposed to be enjoyed.  I had been such a fool -  diluting the true glory of one of life’s great pleasures  by adding milk all those years.  Even as I was still savoring the luscious taste of my first black experience (and wondering how long the burns in my throat and esophagus would last) it was apparent that I had entered a new realm from which there would be no return.

That was in 1986.  And all these years later, Brian,  I still go black.  As a matter of fact, I am enjoying some now, as I write this response.  Damned if I don’t love me some good, hot, black coffee!

SG